I don’t know what to say, I have so many complaints and questions without answers. God, I thank you helping me go through the difficult 3 days and nights, but I don’t want to see the attitude of my husband. during the past three days I’ve learned to appreciate what he has been doing and I will do more. you know my heart better and clearer than me, what is your purpose behind all these? to experience you? God, I need a clear answer and guidance for the future, for tomorrow. I need my family to be healthy, physically and spiritually. where is your protection when Nathan is drinking the formula with those black sandy thing? where are you when Nathan had blowouts but never had it at home? where are you when he wore short on the coldest day of the year in daycare? your mind is hire than mine, and your wisdom is hire than mine, I need you to protect my babies when I cannot.