Last words

If God is real, He said:”No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. —- 1 Corinthian 10:13″ 

God, make it real to me. I’ve endured depression; you let it happen that all our parents choose to take care of the other child’s kids, not ours, and we are far away from home, where all the resources are available to them; now my husband and his mom think his illness, his staying in the hospital is not because of food poison, not because of his irregular eating habit, it is all my fault, it is me who didn’t do the housework and yet work full time and support the family, so that he is too tired and sick. Also my 7-month Nathan is sick with RSV, and it is my fault to send him to daycare at this cold winter season and flu has taken all over U.S, and we had such an unpleasant experience with the Stonebrook dayschool. 

Let it be more severe, and i want to see what is my limit and you promised you would provide a way for me. Let my sleep be deprived, let me be so exhausted that I should go to the hospital, you just allow anything that I can bear to pour on me, and wish i can still thank and praise you.

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