I have not felt well in the past one and half years, spiritually and physically. It is a hard period of time. Although i have a great husband and two wonderful kids, they tolerate me. But…
I am still not quite sure how it happened, but I do know it is God. He works miraculously and changed me. I used to complain very often, get upset easily (I still do, but I will improve), and didn’t enjoy life. I wished i could stay at the moment where i was and continued until I died. It sounds insane, but it was my true feeling. That was one of the darkest moments I had.
My husband recommended a Bible reading App: YouVersion, he is a much stronger and consistent believer in Christ. I am very thankful to have him in my life when i was only 19 and have been continuing together throughout the years. I started to read it using the plan feature, since it requires very little effort to keep up and after i finished in a short time, i feel rewarded.
Also my husband had to travel for a month and i needed to take care of two boys. On the bottom of my heart i know i can do it because “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” I did it and I got closer to my kids and husband. God works through hardship to enhance you.
I sincerely wish i can go further in my Lord, who saved me from my death and revived me ever since.