I love the universe, the ocean. I didn’t get the chance to be an astrophysicist or oceanographer, I am an applied mathematician. I enjoy reading the info on Facebook about the universe and the ocean. It opens a door for me to peek in and enjoy.
I once thought if we just believe in God the moment before we die, we will go to heaven and yet enjoyed the life on earth. Since I don’t want any reward from God, if I can only be a gatekeeper for Him.
I was wrong.
If we can live the life with God together, the earlier the better. Because through Him, we can live a more abundant life, a life full of peace and joy despite the hardship, difficulties and sickness. With Him in our life, either He walks with us, or He carries is in His arms, we have a positive, joyful life.
After going through a very dark time, physically and emotionally, I almost gave up, deep in my mind, I knew God will not leave me nor forsake me, but I felt hopeless. It was a feeling that you don’t want to live, yet you don’t have the courage to commit suicide. Spiritually it was very uneasy.
But God keeps His promise, He saved me before I totally sank in the darkness. The revitalization, the re-born, the renewal is unbelievable and indescribable. I love life again. I was not interested in anything. You may call it depression/anxiety, but it was a spiritual war. It is a war between yourself, the old one rooting deeply with a sprout coming from God. I took med before, I was told I need to take it for the rest of my life, just like med for high blood pressure. I didn’t believe it and I stopped my med long time ago. I pray I will never have it again, and I may be able to help someone because I experienced it. If it does happen, I will not be afraid, since my God is with me. He is my strength, my comforter and my love.
He opens door for me, doors I never imagined that I can enter. Maybe deep in my heart, the very bottom, I trusted Him, I stepped out one small step, put my feet into the Jordan river, then it opens, widely open.
Tears in my eyes, they are the rains after a long drought, they are the sstreams in the desert. I can not express my great gratitude to my God, long before I was born, He loved me, He loves me now, and He will love me until I see Him.
It is such a splendid idea that we can live with Him together forever, for eternity.
I still have so many unanswered questions, many may not be answered when I am alive, it doesn’t matter. I know He loves me, He has mercy on me, a dirt from earth, that is enough.
May all the glory and praise be given to Him. Amen!